From thinking apart to thinking together

I see so many parents get stuck in the erroneous belief that they have to agree about every facet of parenting.

It's a myth folks. Parents do not have to agree on each and every facet of the complicated job of parenting.

While parents do not have to think alike, in order to have a healthy and well functioning family, parents do have to learn to think together.

There are many ways to move from thinking apart to thinking together.

One of the simplest is to try on, even if only for a day or so, the parenting style of the other parent. This works because each parent can learn form the other and discover how another style can work.

Although thinking together will not solve all of a family's problems, it does put the parents on the same team.

What happens when parents think together

• The parents back each other up.

• There is a team approach to parenting.

• The parents are clearly in charge.

• The kids are capable of accepting no for an answer, even if they do not like it.

• Parents are able to detect and head off manipulation.

• The parent's marriage is stronger.

• The kids learn to delay gratification.

• The family is less chaotic and more organized.

This can lay the ground work for a well functioning family during the sometimes tumultuous teen years.

And just remember, the teen years do not last forever.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com