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Main Page –› Society & Issues –› Humor & Pastime
 

Jokes from the News for Jay Leno 01: Police Jokes

 

Author: John T Jones, Ph.D.

I decided that Jay Leno needs all the help he can get so I wrote up a few jokes from the news. The first jokes in this Joke for Jay Leno Series are Police Jokes.

TASER Joke

TASER, the stun gun people, sponsored research at the Cleveland Clinic. Pigs were better able to resist a stun gun attack if they were first injected with COCAINE.

Heres a warning to crooks: In case the police subdue you with a stun gun, shoot up before you go to work!

END

Capital Police Joke

Police cordoned off the Rayburn Office Building when someone confused the sounds of a worker pounding on an elevator with GUNSHOTS.

After checking the location of Dick Cheney, the Capital Police reopened the office building.

END

Holiday Inn Joke

Two men robbed a Pennsylvania Holiday Inn. One held the gun and the other left his checkbook behind on the hotels reception desk, his name and address on each CHECK!

END

Orlando Police Captain

A former Orlando police captain is held captive in the Democratic Republic of Congo. He is accused of planning a coup.

The former captain said he was not planning a coup but was scouting for interesting people to possibly become Disney World TOUR GUIDES.

END

Judge Says Child Sex Offender too Short to Put in Jail

A Nebraska Judge let a convicted sex offender off the hook because he is only 5-ft 1-inch tall and, according to the judge, too short to serve time in jail.

He wasnt TOO SHORT to molest a 13-year-old girl!

A message to you short sex offenders: MOVE to Nebraska.

END

Cocoa Florida Police Arrest 10-year-old Boy

In Cocoa, Florida, a 10-year-old boy rammed a police cruiser after driving a Ram truck on a dare.

The police gave him a ticket for driving without the CUB SCOUT DRIVING AWARD.

END

copyright2006 John T. Jones, Ph.D.

Author Bio:

John T Jones, Ph.D.

Jones was a vice president of a Fortune 500 company subsidiary having the major responsibility for research and development and certain engineering functions. After he retired, he became editor of an international trade magazine. Jones is Executive Representative of IWS, sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He is a direct mail and mail order marketer and operates a dozen websites.

He has written three technical books, four novels (Bull, Revenge on the Mogollon Rim, Bone China, and In No Way Guilty), and many published papers on business, marketing, engineering and other topics. Details on many of these topics can be found at his personal web site.

Jones is a hack poet and amateur landscape painter. He lives in Idaho with his wife of 52 years. He has five children, three in medicine, a lawyer, and a portrait artist. The Jones? have thirty-two talented grandchildren (many with special musical talent and skills), and one great grand child.

Jones is a prolific writer which started when he was an engineering professor at Iowa State University (Go Cyclones!). He doesn?t know how to stop.

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