Exaggeration; hyperbole; irony; and delivery, are a few of the important tools of humor. I wrote the two pieces below, to show that humor is under all our noses, if we just stop; look, and listen! In the two pieces, I'll show you how exaggeration is used.

STOP: Stop and smell the roses! If there were 48 hours in a day, there would still not be enough time to do all the things we all have to do. We live in a fast-paced society, and you MUST slow it down, and it will be a healthy move, and you will get more ideas for your projects, etc.

LOOK: Pay attention to the details around you, even if it is just for a second or two. An orange traffic barrel over there; a hot-air balloon in the sky; an ant in the garden, etc. Example: When I keyed these articles for my website, I keyed the word, "Copyright" quite often. So, the obvious question was: is there anything funny about the word "Copyright?" I thought so. In the southern United States, the word "Copyright" is pronounced, Copyrat.

LISTEN: Be a good listener! Everyone will have their opinions as to why and how Bill Gates (Microsoft) is so successful and so wealthy as such a young age. But, none of us really know except Bill Gates himself. My guess is that one of the reasons Bill Gates is so successful is that he is a very good listener. He has always said that he likes to surround himself with smart and creative people. Ideas cannot be copyrighted, and he has LISTENED to the people with the great ideas from all those people who surround him...and the rest is history! He and Paul Allen could not have put the Microsoft giant together all by themselves at such a young age without help! And, that help came in the form of ideas from very smart and creative people. If you're going to get ideas, it's important that you LISTEN!

Exaggeration is one of the most important tools in the humor profession. The first is a true story about my wife and the use of coupons...and I just added a little "sugar" to try to make it funny.

Easy On The Mayo

For many people, coupon-clipping has been a popular way to save money. Coupons can be clipped from the grocery store ads, and from other places which are in abundance in the Sunday newspaper.

One day, I went into the kitchen to fix a sandwich and to get a cold drink. As I was rummaging through the refrigerator, looking for the ingredients for my sandwich, I got everything I needed, including a large jar of mayonnaise...and, then I noticed another large jar of mayonnaise, and then another! "What's going on here?" I thought to myself. Why do we have four jars of mayonnaise in the refrigerator?

I had to go to the pantry, to get the rest of the ingredients for my lunch, and there I noticed FIVE more large jars of mayonnaise! This was getting out of hand! All this mayonnaise for a family of four? I couldn't believe it, as this was enough mayonnaise to feed the entire country of Bulgaria for a year! The only thing I could think of how this could happen, was the use or miss-use of coupons. My wife does the shopping. and probably saw a coupon in the newspaper for mayonnaise every week or so, and she used it until the mayonnaise piled up!

There were NINE large jars of mayonnaise in the refrigerator and pantry, and my wife had some explaining to do. If we couldn't find a solution to this problem, I would have no choice but to send her to Minnesota to get a little therapy at the MAYO CLINIC!

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When I noticed all the mayonnaise, I knew I was going to write the story, and I knew how the story would end. And, that's why I didn't say anything about the 19 cans of green beans; the 14 cans of tuna; the 16 cans of corn and on and on! Eleven cans of pumpkin? PA-LEASE. My wife doesn't even bake pies, and I don't either! I wrote the piece this way because, I didn't want to distract the reader from thinking about mayonnaise all the way through the piece. (BTW, we gave a lot of this food to the needy).

* * *

This is another true story, and if you think you're going to get a little rest while you're in the hospital...THINK AGAIN! Hospital people are a nuisance (and they know it!), and they come into your room all day and night for whatever reason. They push these rattle-traps, they call high blood pressure machines, around all day and night waking people up...you want to scream! If you are in a room with three other people (poor baby), all you can say is...expletive; expletive, and another expletive...one for each patient! I was in the hospital recently for about ten days, and the following short piece describes how it went during my stay.

10:00 PM; Lights Out; Bonkers Time

MIDNIGHT: Nurse: "Sorry, to wake you, Mr. Aragon, but I have to check your vitals."

2:00 AM: Nurse: "Sorry, to wake you again, Mr. Aragon, but you have to take your medication."

4:00 AM; Nurse: "Sorry, to wake you AGAIN, Mr. Aragon, but we have to take a blood sample!"

6:00 AM; Nurse: "Sorry, to wake you again, Mr. Aragon, but you have to be weighed."

8:00 AM; THE DOCTOR WALKS INTO THE ROOM...

Doctor: "Good morning, Mr. Aragon...how are you feeling this fine morning?"

Exaggeration is a very important tool in the humor business. This is another true story, but a little exaggerated. The nurse didn't come in and wake me up on the hour, and hour after hour...that's silly! Hospital people ARE a pain in the (expletive) there's no doubt about that! But, there were no incidents that happened like this...maybe one or two. So I had to lie...I mean, exaggerate to get the laugh I wanted. STOP; LOOK; AND LISTEN and you'll get more ideas!