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Main Page –› Society & Issues –› Humor & Pastime
 

Finally, A Little Sexual Marketing Humor!

 

Author: Craig Garber

Want to know how to use direct-response in your personal life, for your next romantic "Hook-Up"?

I saw this posted somewhere on a marketing board a long time ago and I thought it'd give you a good laugh going into your weekend.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Name Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout out at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

That's SPAM!

Now go sell something,

Craig Garber
http://www.KingOfCopy.com

P.S. Check out all the prior archives you've been
missing, right here at:
http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/tiparchives.html

Author Bio:

Craig Garber

If you want to know how to consistently attract a steady stream of fresh new prospects, who are pre-qualified, eager, and excited about buying from you, then Craig Garber -- recognized by his peers as America's Top Direct-Response Copywriter -- can show you exactly how to do this, step-by-step. Garber's written winning promotions across a HUGE variety of industries.

If you're serious about using emotional direct-response copy to increase your sales, then you MUST check out his website.

Garber specializes in dealing with selling products and services that are in the high dollar range, and he has an wealth of knowledge he draws from in crafting his promotions, in addition to his "living on the edge" life-experiences, along with a rock-solid 157 IQ.

This unique combination of "street smarts" and book-smarts allows him to get inside your prospects minds to write compelling, engaging and expressive copy that gets your prospects involved and whipping out their wallets.

Here are just some of the raving reviews, taken from actual client testimonials, about Garber:

?Finally, I found the copywriter I can work with for the rest of my career. He?s extremely thorough and reliable -- the man is his word. When he tells you he?s going to do something for you, it?s going to be done. It?s very refreshing in this candid world full of posers and imposters, all these people acting like they?re the best copywriters, and in reality they?re broke, they?re weak -- just seeing who they can scam next. So if you?re looking for somebody who?s very committed to your success, who delivers HUGE results, and who does whatever it takes to make sure your piece will be a winner, then don?t hesitate to go ahead and get a hold of Craig Garber right now.? - Chet Rowland

?During the two and a half intensive hours of conversation I had with Craig - I learned (and re-learned) more about copy than I have over the last 12 years. For example: Just one idea Craig gave me has increased my net profit by 43%! His grasp of which words move people into action -- is so comprehensive, so damned obvious ("Why didn't I think of that before?") and so easily explained -- that you'll just want to slam down the phone and get re-writing that very instant. I know -- I did! If you need to know more, just e-mail me: peter @ peterthomson.? Peter Thomson

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